Don’t Speak
My post about Hello Kitty addresses relatability by her not having a mouth - which I take to mean that you can speak your mind through her. I love that. Today, another icon - Miffy - might be a more raw and direct symbol of what we women face - a literal X for a mouth. Stay quiet, don't speak, you don't matter. Lately though, the messages we receive have been hypocritical - keep quiet, no, you’re not speaking up enough. What the hell is going on, Bitches?
It's a stark reality that women frequently find themselves caught in a perplexing double standard when it comes to speaking up. On one hand, men often dictate when and how women should voice their opinions, urging them to stay quiet and not rock the boat. Yet, equally concerning is the fact that women themselves can perpetuate this cycle by pressuring their fellow women to speak up more, often dismissing their valid reasons for silence. Both instances are clear examples of women being told when and how to express themselves—a dynamic that undermines the autonomy and agency of women everywhere.
The situation takes an even more distressing turn when women of color find themselves on the receiving end of bullying from within their own community. Facing not just the double standard of speak/don’t speak but also enduring additional scrutiny and pressure from their peers based on their race or ethnicity, women of color are confronted with a triple whammy of expectations and judgments. It's high time we recognize the harmful impact of dictating how women should navigate their voices and behaviors.
Speak
Corporate Hell, where gender equality remains a pressing concern, often witnesses this double/triple whammy. Men may unfairly criticize women for speaking too much, but it becomes deeply unsettling when women themselves join in, implying that their female colleagues are not assertive enough. Even in industries predominantly serving female consumers, such as cosmetics, women may use this double whammy by criticizing female entrepreneurs while elevating male competitors. This paradoxical behavior exemplifies how deeply ingrained biases persist, with women inadvertently undermining each other's success. If you're a female entrepreneur, I know you know.
The evidence unequivocally demonstrates that when women experience denigration from both men and their female counterparts, it significantly magnifies the obstacles they confront. Women must acknowledge the detrimental effects of perpetuating stereotypes and actively strive for solidarity. As empowered women, let's exercise discernment and refrain from mindlessly following trends without careful consideration. Together, let's champion critical thinking and stand united in breaking down barriers and fostering a more inclusive and equitable society.
I know what some of you are asking - should women support ALL women? Of course not. However, disagreements are not an excuse for bullying. And, Happy Women’s History Month!